Andy's Collection of Incomplete Stories #01

Title: Cycle

Go, staring down her torso, and don't come back, scowled Daddy before shoving a $50-dollar note into Suzy's face. Her last window of hope closed as abruptly as the slamming of the door before her.

The sting of the jab was nothing compared to the pain within. Her usually radiant brown eyes quivered shut. As did her lips. She could feel the cash slowly float to her feet, its soft touchdown reverberating an extreme sense of cold within her. The heaviness in her heart was something she had never felt before, nor expected. Suzy felt nauseous again.

Grabbing the rusted-silver gates of her home, she staggered to maintain her balance amidst the pattern of clothes strewn across the corridor. She stood, awkwardly bent, left arm on the metal barriers, her right on her mouth. Fingers gripping the bars tighter, she heard Daddy's words again. This is home no more.

My fault. Again. Suzy shook her head. Hope is scarce for the condemned.

Glancing back at the motley disorder before her, waves of memories flooded her mind. This was the corridor she had run going to kindergarten every morning. This was the only place her parents allowed for her afternoon game of catch with John. This was where she had her first kiss.

A kiss which she hoped would lead to something else. Naively believing it was what Love felt like, Suzy threw herself headfirst into her first relationship. But the boy did not even like Suzy. He left soon after he got what he wanted. That was 5 months ago.

Her gaze fell to her feet, her left heel resting on a green sleeve. Setting herself down on the dusty steps, Suzy lifted the garment from her left slipper.

Patting the sleeve, she started caressing its worn neckline, the plain green T was too small for her now, but she remembered wearing it every time it got cleaned. It was her favorite eventhough it took her three years to fit well into it but she always felt "safe" wearing the shirt. But most of the time, she liked that it reminded her of John. It was his favourite too.

John always hugged her when Mummy and Daddy talked loudly and got sad. He hugged his younger stepsister even tighter when both of them started to shout and cry. Suzy never knew why they were always angry but John always got her talking about her day and about Carebears. Suzy loved Tenderheart. And John always drew him for her. But John never explained to Suzy whenever she asked what "derr-voss" meant.

She remembered standing at the gate when John went to school that day. She reminded herself to tell her brother all about the day's Carebears episode when he comes home.

He never did.

Suzy only fully understood the details of his accident years later. A kind neighbour told Suzy that John was late as he was buying a present for Suzy's birthday. Carrying the wrapped box home, a speeding red Honda failed to avoid John. His injuries were so severe he never made it out of the intersection.

John's sister never received the gift. She had a feeling the pretty box had an orange bear in it.

Mummy blamed Suzy. She said Suzy killed her John. Her only child. Since Suzy wasn't hers, she made sure Suzy knew that too. You're no child of mine so don't expect me to treat you as one. Mummy behaved strangely as days went by.

Daddy never talked to Suzy again. When some people came and brought Mummy away, Daddy stopped talking altogether. The only time she recalled him speaking was when he was talking to the police at home; something about hospital and this word - institution - which Suzy never understood.

Suzy did not miss Mum. It did not make any difference if she was around. But Suzy loved Daddy. He is, after all – Daddy. The only father she ever knew. He wasn't always like this though. She knew Daddy blamed her too. He had lost a wife.

Folding the little green T, Suzy started to retrieve her belongings. There weren't many because she couldn't afford much. But she was grateful.

Stuffing each item into an old National Day Parade haversack, she bent like a hardworking rice farmer.

I'll be fine alone she thought aloud.

When the last of her possessions were recovered, Suzy held on to the parapet, and started stroking lovingly on her conspicuously bulging tummy. The t-shirt she wore did little to hide, instead, emphasizing its size.

Don't worry darling. Mummy's gonna take care of you ok?



*To Not Be Continued...Ever*