my friend the genius!

Just found out Mr Crikey died. An evil stingray from hell had stung Steve Irwin on the chest and he was pronounced dead before help arrived. He is survived by his wife and 2 children.

Stingrays shouldn't kill people cos they look so un-fierce and they are very delicious. For that, every Bbq Pari i eat is dedicated to u Steve.

~

How would you like it if someone's phone conversation woke u up from a pleasant mid-Sunday slumber?

This much right?[index finger and thumb a hair's breadth from each other]

Short of swinging my machete out (i keep it under my first fold of tummy flab) - this is abominably a whole new level of rudeness. And wrong! Like asking someone to get out of the loo when he had already declared prior to entering the toilet that he is going for a shit, thus deeming the requests or demands for him to disengage his ass from a process by which his ass had commenced its unquestionable uploading endeavours totally redundant. Its wrong no matter how nicely u ask!

Now that we've got that out of the way, i didn't know the conversation was about my favourite (aka menyampah) couple. And Ola, being her fiery self, had to blog it up. Again.

Here's my take on - Bimbos:-

M (aka moron; the male half) said that being a cabin-crew is basically doing a bimbo's job and his wife, MxM (aka moron squared; i never knew such level of stupidity exists until i met her) concurred. But of cos.

Which was not surprising cos the last time i heard her make an opinion was for a skirt a girl was wearing being very...redundant. Re..dun...freakin...dant.

Ok, hold it.

If i wore 2 jackets at the same time (Which i jokingly did but she didnt say redundant, she asked if i was cold. [Andy shaking head slowly])- DATS redundant. And mad.

If i had 3 freakin balls – i'll choose the smallest, ugliest, hairiest one and cut it off cos goddammit DATS redundant. And ugly!

And if had 3 fuckin nostrils, i'll cover one up with Blu-Tack and concealer cos that extra fuckin hole is fuckin REDUNDANT!!!

[wipes sweat from forehead; deep breaths]

Ok la, don't laff at pee-purr when dey say wrong ting but wen dey say wrong ting many many how? And den put nose so high in duh sky like dey got say sumting super cleber how? Got deserve to laff or not? Got not?!

Mai kay-kiang! Donch noe donch hantam la! If you cannot reach the sky then maybe u should try lower. Like a bookshelf. U know that big book you use to reach the top of ur closet? Its called a dictionary. Use it dammit!

U might be wondering whats with the sudden animosity. No, u have to understand that she, especially, has a unique place in my heart. I reserve that place for people like terrorists and such.

She stirs up a lot of emotions within myself. From the insensitive comments she makes and the inconsiderate way she treats her friends. Its a miracle she still has them.

I guess that's where she is not all that bad. Maybe that's why she still has people who care about her. Who bother to ask her to try something new, for her own good, as she herself declared that she needed a better paying job.

And for that, she said nonchalantly that the recommended job is for idiots.

When her good friend is working as one.

This entry, like my sleep yesterday afternoon, will end prematurely . Cos somehow, somewhere, deep inside, i feel that thinking about MxM, again, is like hailing a cab at 10pm in town - a total waste of time.

Useless.

I have a word to describe her, and its ironically appropriate and fitting.

Re...urgh..u know what i mean.