Exams are so over-rated!

I have an exam in 13hrs time and I can't seem to find my bearings amongst the massive wave that are my essay "hints".

I am drowning in its overlengthinesseseseses due to my lecturer's unsympathetic and, if I may add, deliberate, decision to put his chunky paragraphs in a manner that would definitely bemuse and frustrate his students. ME especially.

Thanks but no thanks Mr Lecturer for bestowing upon us a comprehensive compilation of "hCiRnAtPs" for our exam. Unfortunately your students would not be able to decipher the labyrinth-ian essays that you have offered as sample answers.

In short, we're clueless looking at your clues.

For eg: Briefly describe the five transport modes, based on their economic and service characteristics.

Answer: 3 full pages of blinding, mirage-inducing, hallucinative text!

Me: Brief my ass!

I was expecting 5 points with a few sentences to elaborate each point therefore taking a total of 2/3 of a page. Not 3 bloody text-full pages! How the hell am I gonna remember 3 pages of text? I can't even remember my lecturer's name!

See where I'm driving at here guys? I'm not the King of Bullshit for nothing but you simply cannot bluff your way through 3 pages of facts. Not that I haven't tried though. I gave a 3-page essay answer for my Geography Prelims in Sec 4 and all I got was 2 glorious marks. Out of 25. My teacher could smell the crap after my first line.

I learnt my lesson after that cos if you wanna bluff, you have to atleast make sure you're heading in the general direction. Not a cliff somewhere. And confidence, yes people, the simple belief in one's own powers and ability, is the key. Even if you're talking way out of point (don't worry, you'll notice. Its as apparent as how I'm feeling it ever so strongly now) you have to construct it in such a way that it is the truth and therefore, as how truths inevitably go, it shall set you free. Or something like that. If it's long enough (if your wrists aren't cramped, it's not enough), or if you're as good as I am, who knows, you might get points for effort. And points my friend, are not really a bad thing as it could be the difference between a few hundred dollars every month or that slippery promotion you'd always been aiming for.

Pardon my dodgy advice laddies but I can't help freaking out. And recalling Bb's comments about me not being a good liar only makes everything so bloody complicated now.

I'm even considering writing the answers on invisible ink on my arm but I wouldn't know what to answer if the invigilator asked me why I'm reading my elbow. But if it's really invisible then how to see? My skin so dark sumore. And looking at how small my biceps are, I'd have to squeeze 8-pages of answers right down to my crotch. I can already imagine the headline, "Student fondling own crotch during exam. Charges pending outcome of investigation."

Maybe this would give u a better picture.

I must not fail. And getting arrested would be so inconvenient.

I'm desperate.

I need help - no, a miracle.

Shit, maybe I should just go traditional.

Sigh...

I guess I'd have to go study now.


Last but not least, incase u guys have other ideas, I do remember my lecturer's name. He's called Sir, so back off.