Thinking = Misery

I have a super sucky keyboard. I hate typing with it because I leave-out / add-in letters. And that is why I have not been updating this blog. It is ultra irritating when you end up with something like "wht's the story orning glotry?"

Mind you it has nothing to do with my economy-sized fingers as years of chatting on iRC honed m tping skills. See? Now my Ys have issues!

Fuck it, im not even gonna bother. I'm don with tracking back and editing. ARrrrrrghhh!!!

~ [30mins later]

So, after that bubbly intro, how have you been?

I don't mean that rhetorically but really, how are YOU?

From entries I've read, some travelled, a few went into mildly interesting life changes and some, like me, seemed to not be doing anything much.

Boring? Probably.

Challenging? Not really.

Readable?

We'll see.

~

1st issue of the day:

Bb's gonna be in KL in a little over 5hours and I am wrecked with indecision. Should I drop by? It's only a 5hr coach ride anyway. But I have already discussed this with her and we agreed that meeting her would not only be cost ineffective, it's too short (only a 24hr layover) and I might upset her more (I'm guessing the part where we have to part ways).

But I miss her! Den how? Maybe I should just run away. Seeing her in front of me would make everything seem so right.

To shed some light on my romantic endeavour, I called up 3 friends.

Atip said, "GO!" The kind of "GO" you would shout with one fist up, one feet stamping and back bolted straight. Right on bro, you can stop wearing you beret now.

Azni said, "Go ajer la." With as much conviction as a couple who took leave together on the same day and probably got interrupted in their merry love making by a call from her ludicrous friend who asked if he should take a bus to KL within the next hour to meet his girlfriend that same night. Apparently girls are not very romantic nowadays. Horny, yes.

[At this juncture I am looking wildly across my room and out my window for the source of some distressing classical music. I'll be damned, it's my iTunes. So much for culture.]

Isa on the other hand told me otherwise. It even sounded like a scolding. "Kau pergi sana pon sekejap jer. Mana tahu dier penat? Nak kene layan kau lagik." At which I cut in, "Tak pernah pon dier komplen biler aku layan dier?" Hinting a slight smile whilst reminiscing.

"Yerla, tapi 24 jam jer per. Tolak time dier rest smuer, mana ader puas?" Isa attempted another reminder.

He might have a point there. And that's how I ended up writing this entry.

~

And gez wat, Bb smsed me and I called. I’m OFF!!!!!

BYE!!!!

~




Reading the text message really drove home a point. Maybe I shouldn't have thought too much. Maybe I should have just left. Maybe I shouldn't have told Bb.

I was late, too hegeh, couldn't decide and I shouldn't have brought it up. And she hates me for that. For ALWAYS doing that.

But I was ready, I'm dressed and had only my shoes left to put on. Mommy was lying on her sejadah like she always does and before I could tell her I'm leaving she complained about having difficulty breathing. And it looked quite bad. I probably have to get her to a clinic. Or the hospital. Mommy's gonna update me. Hope nothing's serious.

I know, sounds like a great excuse. But you know what, i'm not even gonna bother defending myself.

So here I am, still at my pc. Not going to KL and not being romantic and even spoiling Bb's mood at that. I don't blame her. Who wouldn't be upset at being excited and disappointed all within 20mins?

I'm so sorry dear. I guess we're fated not to meet tonight. Maybe soon.

I'm done writing. No more issues of the day. Some other month perhaps.

So disappointed.