Gotta put this down!

I just love this line:

I'm not one to speak elaborately about the so-called "formal structure" of films. As Pablo Picasso once said,

"If you love a woman, you don't start measuring her limbs."

It was on Yasmin The Storyteller's post; here.

Cool sia...

Oh ya ladies, it applies to men too ok? Maybe...not totally la. Cos, u know, u gotta know it "exists" u see. If not, den, kau.....like picking ur nose wit newly-clipped nails man.

If only u had that li'l extra nail. would make the whole endeavour so much more satisfying rite?

date taken: 30/09/04
which means: i'm still growing up

One mark at a time

~

~

Unfortunate...slight.

Got the chills when i first listened to it.

Felt it again when i listened to it after so long.

From the City of Angels soundtrack. Which happens to be the only movie that ever made me cry.

I'm a wuss i know...

Finally...

It has been only a week but they have already sent me my Card.

The Platinum Gay Card

Yay!!!~

Talk about efficiency, they said i would get it in about a month but a week? Coolnez!~ This is precisely one of those rare moments where my lower jaw hangs by how efficient the country can be sometimes. It can be terrifying this level of efficient-dom, no?

They're so good at it i feel like paying them the annual fee in advance now. Screw that its waivered. I'll pay the following 4 years! Its like they cannot wait to get this card out or, as if its none to soon the day this card gets swiped. Like, i should get this card charged As Soon As Possible! You know..like, NOW!!!

Hmm...wait. Hold on a sec.

I'm smelling that familiar and very suspicious smell of fish.

She is so sick!!!

She was bleeding from her nose. Which caused her to panic and call her friends. Who took her to the hospital.

Fever. High fever to be exact. The doctor gave her 5 different pills to swallow and the most recent one she took made her so high, she can touch the sky. No seriously, that's what she said. I'm not kidding. Apparently neither was she.

She's lying on her bed right now. I can see her over MSN (video-call) and she is humming. Yes, humming. And singing to Rrriiiiiiiicolaaaaaaa. I want whatever the doctor gave her!

So it's no more high fever. It's Fly Fever!

I love legally prescribed drugs.

A pity i couldn't be there to take of Bb. I would love to give her a sponge bathe and breakfast / lunch / dinner in bed and tucking her in and give her a massage or whatever. Being so far can be really tough when u can hear how bad the other half is getting over on that side and all u can do is give advice or maybe say something nice.

I on the other hand made sure Bb got an earful about eating proper meals and drinking more fluids, among other things. She thinks i nag too much. Especially when she's not feeling well.

[I won't if you're not sick! If u happen to fall ill, brace ur ears cos my mouth would swiftly get a NOS boost. ]

Can u help urself once ur worried? And i mean really-really-really-really worried. Notably so when she's complaining of bleeding noses and all. She's (or Me) just lucky its nothing serious.

Get better quick dear.

Please.

[At this point, Bb's already fast asleep. I recognize that distinct breathing. And i'm done with this post. So goodbye Bb, and goodbye to you.]

Dat's how she'd look when sick.
I hope u get well very very soon dear, take care.

Hot?

*Me and my bro, Arin, are in the room doing our own usual stuff on our own PCs*

Arin: Why is the room so hot? *rather indifferently*

Arin: Maybe its just me.

And we laughed ourselves hoarse.

Funniest shit i heard today man.

[ And before i forget, Bb is THE HoTTesT thing in the world. We always have our "personal-time" in MSN (video-calling) every other night and I'm still amazed her lappy's not melted yet. ]

The best prank ever. Watch everyone fall and swim for their life. CRASH!!

The best prank ever. Watch everyone fall and swim for their life. CRASH!!

My Macho Brows

I just realised I have muscular eyebrows. They can rise up and down my forehead like nobody's business. And Bb's chuckling over the headfones cos I'm on MSN wit her discussing this very important issue.

But seriously, my brows are ripped! And they can fly up quite high too sia. They make so many creases on my generous jendol I look like an accordion when shocked.

Ooh, and Bb's showing hers too. Unlike mine, you can use hers to wash clothes.

Alrite, that's all for now. I shall update u guys with more pressing topics next time.

Mi Nombre

For the record, my name is spelt:

Thank you.

Can i wake up to that?

*yawn*

Let me see this every morning.



Please?

Of daydreams and nightmares

I'm hallucinating.

I tried sleeping but I can't. Keep hearing myself breathing. That familiar tempo of air exiting my nostrils like faint waves on a beach. It's that same nightmare I had since a kid.

Deep breaths; haunting taunts. Shadows, silhouettes. Wrinkled old fingers, yellowed nails tapping an ancient oak table. And the face. I will never forget that grey face. A mosaic of features I created; a monochromatic avatar - born out of fiction, fuelled by ghoulish imagination.

And it is staring at me from my monitor.

Broken, flashing images of its pale, sweaty cheeks. Old eyes on an otherwise youthful disposition. Bruised lips tried to coax my attention. But I'm a conscious participant. No escape, since slumber never came. And each time I try to turn my face away, the visions became more intense behind my eyelids. The taunts are getting louder. I can almost make out its pleas. The eyes are no more alluring, it's commanding my gaze. I'm usually awake by now.

Get a grip, calm down. Play some music - My Chemical Romance - why the hell not. Distract yourself. You know 48hrs of sleep deprivation would do that to someone.

Calm down. Slow your breathing and focus.

Been awake since Friday. Give me till Tuesday and Fandy's a dead man.

It's been a tiring 2 weeks. The climax being the sending off of Bb at the airport on Friday evening and staying awake expecting my mobilization to activate early on Saturday. My bad, I know, but I just couldn't sleep believing that a certain someone so dear had deliberately been snatched away.

A fortnight ago my bestest friend came back after a lengthy overseas stay.

For fourteen days I had a special someone to hug almost every night.

A half moon back, my evenings never looked so bright.

I finally laughed my laugh.

I soon realized one early Saturday morning that happiness is a privilege, and loneliness a constant.

It only hits you when you're in a cab all by yourself and stare at the seat beside you hoping to see her turn and smile back.

Her palm warming your cold fingers.

Her smile a blanket for the heart.

I remember that smile.

So I can sleep now.

No more bad thoughts.

No more nightmares.

I sleep.