Hairy

I'm using hair tonic now. A Hair Growth Accelerator to be precise. I don't expect to look like cousin IT the next day but that's the least of my problems.

Under Instructions, the manual inside said:

"Sprinkle a generous amount of solution onto scalp twice a day. Massage with fingertips to work in the solution."

As easy as it sounds, that's where my problems started. "Sprinkle a generous amount onto scalp..." - I did, and I'm not one to argue with gravity, but the liquid flowed down my face and scalded my eyes. It's alcoholic. I mean, there's alcohol in it. So much for not smoking during / after application.

And what does it mean by "onto scalp"? If it's that easy to reach my scalp then I guess its best I just practice a few comb-overs. I still have hair! Yes, it's possible to count them now but some people don't have it so easy, ok? I faced obstacles in my quest to apply said solution onto scalp and blinding myself is so inconvenient.

So I poured it onto my head on a few strategic locations and rigorously slapped it into my skull. At least that's how it felt. I was trying to wake them lazy follicles that's all.

The aftermath resulted in 7 uprooted strands on my palm. Collateral damage. Risk a few soldiers to save the battalion.

I wondered why so many of my men go AWOL / KIA / MIA? And how come very few recruits?

PS: It's called KAMINOMOTO. Should change it to KAMINOHAIR.