Here's a middle finger for u

Not you YOU, but this particular irritant of a female. Why everytime must be girl one?


People who berbual "world" ought to - as only how Athif could imagine it - be tied up naked to a tree (preferably in a forest. bawah block can be too crowded what with all the ah pek and nyonya amek angin), splattered with honey and set on African army ants. Or less imaginatively but otherwise more to the point - swallow a grenade.


For my ranting's sake, i shall not divulge any details because i'm your friend and u trust every word i say but most importantly, there are just too many things to point out and u noe how bad ur friend's memory is, don't u?


I hate the fact that they have to point out every single apostrophe in their resume of life in the hope that somehow it would interest me to follow up with a question.


Example A:
Ant Candy: "....I was managing this blah-blah-blah events company for 48 years (she started working since a sperm/egg) and i met so many stars sia. Naik bosan aku tengok."
Me: Stop looking at me like i'd ask u who u met!!! "..heh...aku pon bosan. (dengarkan engkau)"

or


Example B:
Bomb Swallower: "...Kau tau kan tadi aku pegi clinic? Dorang amek darah aku 10 test tube baldi siol! I think aku sakit ______________ (fill in a major disease). Fandy, kat Singapore urot mana bagos?"
Me: Urot? Sakit darah mintak urot??? "Urot eh? Ahh...(garok kepala)..kat Singapore aku taktau. Tapi aku dengar Batam bagos." i hope dorang lipat kau abes2 pastu simpan kat gerobok buat tempeh!


Leceh ah bual ngan orang mcm gini. Kiter terbabit jadik plastic tau. Palsu sepalsu palsunyer!


Yang eksen ngan bender2 dorang lain. Even stokin! Yes, socks! Stokin! Mak kau! Dier eksen dier ader gedong stokin and satu Dubai pinjam stokin dier pasal stokin dier jer paling lawar dalam dunia and paling banyak so kalao ko nampak arab padang pasir pakai stokin lawar tanyer dier mungkin itu stokin pinjam!


Stokin tetek ko ah! Aku pon ader la. Walaupon bau hongkong, berlobang2 tetap itu paling aku suka.


Beh biler gado ngn matair kene pekik2. I might sound petty now but i hear from a VERY reliable source that she NEVER EVER raised her voice wen angry. Even during an argument. So my reliable source asked if maybe - dum dum dum!!!! - she's getting my attention?!?!


Kiwak! Muka jamban retak gitu ader hati nak pikat si tinggi ni?


Oh please (tangan waving2)! I'd rather take a deep breath of Bb's mulot pagi. Biar contact lens aku cair, kening aku terbakar, or idong aku meletop. Aku rela di seksa begitu rupa daripada layankan kerenah engkau.


But she's not the only one. I have met so many of such people and it's not really a gender thing. I know a friend called H who talks crap so much, i belive his arse is where is head should be.


H ever told a story of a U-turn he made along the BKE because there was a road block and he was riding without a license. A U-turn people. On the expressway.


Kimek, baik kau cakap ko bunny hop over polis kan? Or suddenly out of a sudden, wings grew out of ur belly-button and u flew away to safety.


Kau!!!! Nak tipu taknak agak sak!!! Yes, i might be young then (still in my late teens when this story was first heard) but ko pikir aku tinggal kat gua kepe?


[Breathing deeply now]


Interestingly, a majority of them are females.


I noe that taknak kalah attitude is very Singaporean but tak payahlah bilang smuer orang ko nak withdraw beribu-ribu lemon dari ATM buat belanja tapi ATM jawab,"Amount exceeds available balance". Beh bingit pasal baru tadi ko kuarkan duit boleh. Bila balik plak naik cab pinjam 10 dollar.


Apa maksud ni beb?


Tak payah nak step kaya ngan akula. Aku memang takder duit nyer orang tapi aku tak mintak ko apa? But i'm not blind. I can see if u have money or not. Everybody can or will eventually.


Dala. Penat ah komplen. There's nothing much that i can do anyway. Other than layankan or pekakkan telinga.


Still, anyone know where to get African army ants?


Other than Africa la!!!

Is you able to read me?

I donno if my entries are appearing in multiply but i hope it is. i've sync-ed my blog entries together for both sites (i think) so yah, if u can read this on multiply, then, thank you Gods of Blog Entries. If not, here's a highway salute.

I dont understand y they must ban Multiply. Like, mcm konek kan? Even Flickr!!!

"We apologize the site you are attempting to visit has been blocked due to its content being inconsistent with the religious, cultural, political and moral values of the United Arab Emirates."

Aper sajer! Mrepek giler ah!! Did u noe that the latest versions of MSN cannot be used in UAE? (They can bt u canot video call internationally) So my poor little Bb has to never update her MSN loh! cos she did once and we couldnt chat online after that. Some "connection poblem".

Even Skype has poblems in UAE. They monopolising the bandwidth la. Cos got only 1 ISP mah so can freakin do watever the freakin fuck they want. Not sure? Ban! U wana talk overseas? Use their international chatting services. It is conveniently under the same Service Provider.

Make a search about internet problems in UAE (Dubai and Doha in particular) and u'll uncover forums after forums of bitchings made by numerous netizens. Not a surprise when most of them are expats. Yes, even those who're earning buckets are complaining cos they cannot communicate cost-efficiently when their families or loved ones are abroad. (even worse wen ur earning less tol tak???)

And i believe its affecting some businesses but i dare not make an uneducated guess since i think they must have struck a deal with none other than THE Service Provider.

Can't believe even the internet needs liberation in some places!

I'm all for freedom on the Internet.

It's the last place u get in this small (and getting smaller everyday) world to have your own space and do whatever the hell u want.

Even my other favourite space - the toilet - is slowly but surely becoming "invaded". How many times have u run out halfway thru a shit just to answer a phone call?

Bingit ah. Aku bingit. I'm so bingit, i've run out of bingit things to say. Dala, bye!

Back in Dubai

Hey peepz, here i am on my 2nd night in Dubai and Niza's sleeping and i've just finished playing a stoopid game that doesn't let anyone win. For what let people play if cannot win? Knn.


Went to Battuta Mall and gots meself a nice pair of shades from Topshop for less than SGD$10!

Mcm orang tua miang tak?

Did some grocery shopping oso. I'm a sucker for groceries. I can go on and on and stuff trolley-loads of crap i wouldn't normally eat and this was a very appropriate occasion cos me is in DXB for more than a month and me eats loads so me needs trolley-loads of crap.


But i don't think i wana take 2 taxis home cos Niza wouldn't appreciate it so i limited myself to a boot-sized load. Even so, we needed 4 peepz to carry them all so luckily Niza's friends were there. They were gym-ing at Fitness First - which had their biggest gym in Asia at Battuta; or so i've heard - but i think there's no point opening gyms in Dubai.


The malls there are so huge and winding and never-ending that Niza and i were pretty buffed walking around looking for this "Jumbo Electronics" shop. Not very considerate loh putting that bloody outlet one freaking continent away!


I felt wrinkles on my forehead by the time we stepped foot in that shop. And we haven't even finished scouring that blasted place. Not that i wanted to btw. Imagine it to be 2-3 times the size of Vivo. They should put roads in that thing. And petrol kiosks. But Battuta has only 1 floor. Can't say the same for Mall of the Emirates tho.


Next time i shop i'm bringing a tent, some flares and a GPS just in case.


Back home pulak Niza and I decided to karaoke. Not on me but with actual mics and songs. So everyone joined in. I knew i had a bad start wen the mic electrocuted me on my lips. 3 sharp jabs on the kisser. Kurang asam! Naseb baik takda pape. My lips maseh sek people. Alhamdulillah.


So there. Can't really sleep yet now so before i start complaining about the heat here let's get u back to what ur doing ok?


Btw it's so hot here my double fudge sundae became hot cocoa wen i reached the cab.

Goodfellas at Timbre [Substation]

As promised, these are the rest of the lads on a typical Saturday night at Timbre [Substation].

It was nice of them to actually let me get on stage and snap my peace cos it was truly a good practise for my new hobby. Still got a long way to go tho.

But i do hope u like 'em as much as i had fun editing them.

*I suggest viewing them in high-res mode (right-click to view pic/image).

Mista Mangsta: Vocals and Guitars

Ghaz: Vocals and Dancing.
Don't ask.

NaL: Band leader and Helluva Bass player

Raf (aka Sexy Chocolate): Drums

Mang's forever fiddling

A crooning Ghaz

Goodfellas

A good-sized crowd.
Who am i kidding, it's packed!


A white lady and her request


I guess they got their attention


Athif and Ashley doing the Strut

Danny's never satisfied with the sound


A half-decent Isa.
Quite possible actually.


The usual hangout

*For more pics, i hope u drop by my 2nd Den*

Goodfellas (a teaser...)

After days and days of editing and researching online, this is my draft for the upcoming Goodfellas Album.


Actually i just couldn't wait to put it up.


The rest shall come in due time.


Yes, patience little grasshoppers.

(Remember to check out the larger version!)

Italia - Pisa [Part 2 of 2]

Our 2nd full day there.

Sewer Cover
Very considerate. In case we forgot where we are.

It was one of our "might-as-well" moments cos we decided to climb the 294-step tower and also take a peek in the cathedral.

Cloudy Morning

Tower: Got a good workout and it made me slightly claustrophobic going up. But the view very well made up for it.

Niza is posing!

She's doin it again!

Cathedral: Didn't get to use my camera cos it ran out of batteries. Too many shots of and on the tower. But we used Niza's though i forgot to claim it from her.

La Piazza Del Duomo

Anything nice to report abt our 2nd day?


Well, apart from Niza getting getting all scared at high places (ironic as her workplace is many many times higher than that tower. and it's slanted! ), we had fun getting lost all over the place.

Let's go babe

Next stop - MILAN!

[*You would hardly see me cos i do not take my own photos digicam style as its impossible with that huge-ass contraption. ]

Simpsoned!!!

Guess who?



Gerek buat keje bodo?

Abeh.

Italia - Pisa [Part 1 of 2]

As promised, more pix. Yay!


Our first day in Pisa. Couldn't wait to see that senget building. And boy did it look drunk. Getting there wasn't as straight forward as we thought. We had to transit at Florence. A 10min window to change trains. And we were late.


No signs at the train station and no time to ask. So we ran. Aimlessly. Thanks to Niza and her ever reliable instincts, we jumped onto The Train. Which never said Pisa. She tried to explain her decision to jump on The Train: "...blah blah, this should be the one..." Wa pu ming pai.


But we got to Pisa and the rest is, as they say...naseb baik tak sesat siol!

Dinner At Aryan's

Took a break from editing my Italy pix and decided to add these instead.


Aryan invited us for some ayam penyek but all he did was sleep when we came. Nevertheless, the food was great. No joke when u have such teeny hands.

The after-dinner entertainment needed some work tho. As u can see from the pic below, i thot i was at a PSP Gaming Ctr.

Come Away With Me

Let's take a trip.

A trip, together. It may take a long time. So let's pack right.

Tell me, without exception, how the journey is going to be like. Tell me what i'm going to see. Or what i my eyes might relish. Who would i meet? What stories would they share? How the air would taste or if my tongue would elate.

And what would the playlist for that tour be? Let's leave that soundtrack open shall we? I love harmony.

U might not know how to. Cos u'd never taken that trip before. But if u can make me see, of things impossible, then worthwhile or otherwise, maybe the trip has already bared its weight.

Lift me up to see the horizon.

I'm tired of staring at the ground.