Dude, ease up.

Rite, this goes to the boys.


Why do boyfriends stop their girlfriends from going out?


Bb asked her friend, Y, out for dinner but she matter-of-factly turn down our invitation due to an Executive Order made by her boyfriend. She was not allowed to go out. For dinner.


That is something i'd expect to hear if i asked a friend out for football during primary school.


"Aku takyeh kuar ah Fandy. Mak aku suroh aku abeskan homewerk dulu. Kau dabes eh?"

"Homewerk? Aku kat skolah dabes. Sbelom cikgu kasi aku dabes. Eh, besok kau kasi aku tengok homework kau sbelom hand in eh? Aku nak 'check'."


U get my point? It was actually Bb who raised this topic with me. Cos she could not understand why must men be so controlling sometimes. And usually without any solid reason to.


Case in point, Bb's friend S. She is not allowed to go out AT ALL. Meaning the only way she can step out for some stale, humid, nasal burningly hot Dubai air is to instigate a SILENT WAR or most effectively, lie.


I do not condone lying but we do it all the time - except for me, of course - and most of the time it's the last most efficient resort. Unfortunately, they will be so guilty that they'll confide with their friends about the emotional turmoil they have put themselves in and that is when ideas like condoms are thought about.


But when u delve deeper into the mechanics of their relationship, it can sometimes be one getting back at each other. And S's boyfriend is getting back at her because of something that happened when he did allow her to go out. So i suppose padan muka la.


Still, my question is, and i'm repeating here, since when does girlfriends and boyfriends need to get one another's permission to go out?


Bb puts it very simply to me:

"Sejak biler jantan tu kasi aku makan? Apa, dier kasi aku duit beli baju kepe? Selagi dier takde kene menenge ngan aku, jgn nak step laki aku. Mak bapak aku sendiri takde cakap ni smuer. Apa dier nak take over kepe?"


I got those "classic" Niza lines straight to my face. Weirdly, my smile was still on. Cos i know she does ask for my opinion on everything. Wic can sound contradicting but its not like a permission per se, but more of an assurance that i am ok with everything. Wic means respect. And i respect the fact that she does what she has to do regardless if i allow it or otherwise. So i let her do watever the hell she wants.


And that works for us. Although sometimes she does not do watever things i say is ok with me cos i belive she knows i might get upset over it. Like going out for a drink immediately after a flight for example. I dont mind. I'm only worried if she does not get enough rest for her next flight. But she insists i might get upset that she might not be spending enuff MSN time with me.


Talking about weird fights, we sometimes argue when we ALLOW each other to go out. Just cos we worry if the other party might not allow it. Maybe we care for each other too much. Is there such a thing?


Back to my question.


Yes, since when? I'm talking about those partners, usually the male, who simply do not give any leeway to their significant other. As the victim, don't u feel smothered? Or maybe deep, deep down, u do love being controlled?


If so, why complain? Why make it a big deal if he doesnt let u out?


I would gladly give a male perspective at this point but i cannot cos i'm not that sort. But as with all male issues, u need not look further than the member behind the zipper.


It's all about the ego babe. If u have completer control over that someone, then suddenly he has a penis the size of a bolster.


So the more u listen, the bigger his junior becomes. Before u know it, ur fighting with 2 dicks.


So whats the conclusion?

• If he smothers, that should be an internal alarm.
• If u let it be, then u deal with it. Stop stealing our girlfriends cos u need to talk abt a poblem u made for urself.
• If its a poblem he has, ask ur girlfriend's boyfriend if he has any issues regarding the term "accessory to murder".
• If u think it can be solved amicably, good, do it. Quit asking for 2nd, 3rd or 275th opinions.
• If u feel u need attention no matter who its from cos u get none due to ur overbearing boyfriend, stop it. The thing i hate most other than rude people, are attention-seekers. So yes, ur rude and attention-seeking so u deserve all that misery. And more if possible.
• If u've done everything here and still things are not looking up; lie.

So u see, it all comes down to that convenient little line u'd most probably hear as, "i think i'm gonna do my laundry and retire early. It's been a tiring week. Wanna catch up on some sleep."

Believe me boys, when women lie, they do it very well. Make sure junior don't get too big to cover ur eyes.