I passed!

I have not read the mail, I only heard it from my mom who checked it for me, but after a year of group projects and many, many nights memorising and trying to understand concepts, tables and formulas, i can safely say that i have passed my exams.

U may all clap now.

Thank you.

Now, let's see what i can complain today. Oh yah, partying.

I can't party anymore. I tried but my body refuses to comply. Remember that Zinc thing i did a few nights ago? It was interesting, yes, but only for the first hour. We went in at around 12 and i was yawning by 1. I kept looking at my watch. Bedtime? Already? Not really cos i only sleep after 4am and that's like 8am SG time.

So what's the problem here? I had asked Niza about this when we were on our way to the club. Don't mind the drama that's about to unfold:

Niza: "Why do people party?" I felt her eyes leave the window to fix on me.

Me: "Drink, dance...meet people." I replied, still staring out. "You know, have fun." I turned to look at her. That new silver dress, her pretty hairdo and that dim light coming in from the traffic made her look very....sexy.

Niza: "Why do YOU party?" She pointed a finger-gun at my nose.

Me: "To drink." I gave my eyebrows 2 quick push-ups whilst covering her target.

Niza: She smiled back, crossed her legs and cocked her head to her left, "And?"

Me: "And probably squeeze a few laughs in between my next round. Wait, am i supposed to dance tonight?" She sensed my developing uneasiness of her questions and quickly answered,

Niza: "There you go." Her hands spreading out as if laying some invisible file. "You're here, with me, in this cab, simply as a bodyguard. You hate having to dress up to have a pint at some dodgy bar. You're more than happy to have it at home. You won't dance and u'd hate to be caught eye-ing another girl. Men are hunters and they like to hunt in clubs and bars and possibly anywhere a female would most likely get drunk or foolish. Hopefully both. But unlike most men, you're not up for the hunt anymore cos u know u already have me. You know better than to try ur luck cos u see no point in trying." With her back barely leaving the seat, she continued.

Niza: "In other words, you my dear, have lost ur hunt-mojo. My boyfriend has lost his will....to kill"

And with that, she returned her gaze to the window, again.

If not for the grin trailing after that last sentence i am pretty sure she was mocking me. In spite of her thinly veiled insult at my manhood, her speech does contain some truths and i'm fairly pleased with her knowledge of her significant other to the point that i'm quite impressed. Besides, all that serious talk was really turning me on.

Me: "Do we really have to go to this Zinc place? I know a place where it's more private, i can turn on some soft music and u can take off those pesky heels and remov.."

Niza: "Stop it. The hunter may lost his will, but I am tired of the cave."

This goes to the fellas out there:

Let me grab this chance to state that, for the record, i still have my balls. There are still in my shorts, wrinkled as ever. Just hear me out will u?

I know a fine specimen when i see one. And i love looking at pretty things. When u've been with someone for so long, getting caught looking at other girls should be the least of ur worries. I have seen a few whilst Bb's around tho. But I got caught too many times (*goat smile*).

Over the years, I have honed my skills to such perfection that i can detect Bb looking at me as soon as a pretty thing is within radar. She is trying to see if i'm gonna sneak a peek. So i feint ignorance. (Aha..not this time woman!) It's always better to buat bodo den to memandai.

So Bb's right, i hate partying. But that wasn't how it used to be.

Back in the day, which was obviously not too long ago, i partied like there was no tomorrow. I thought every night was gonna be the best night in my life. Drinking was cool and getting drunk was even cooler. Everyone's your best friend and girl's always look better after that 3rd glass. And when tomorrow does come, i ignore my dry, sawdust throat and do it all over again.

I remembered spending every night for 2 weeks at this underage mecca called Jamz. For what u say? Who knows? But it was fun. Well, I thought it was. Ur young and all u want is to see and be seen. U know the manager, the manager acknowledges ur there and u got ur own cosy spot where u and ur mates sit back and enjoy the evening. Thinking back, i spent more time in that club than most of the staff.

Still, at the end of the day, i was never satisfied. I guess that phase has come and gone.

Now, another good example is this place i went last week called Loft. The place was nice and the music was great, and i had the pleasure of accompanying a pack of very attractive young women and attracting many envious stares but still, i didn't really enjoy myself.

Yeah right u say, but honestly, I had more fun at the after-party when all of us, and some Arab dudes, shed tears laughing at witty one-liners a fella called Abdullah kept coughing out.

So the verdict still remains that i am not one for the party scene. I've been deservedly called lamp post a few times. Maybe i'm party-jaded. Boring old me is no fun on the dance floor anymore.

Then again, maybe that's a good thing.

The hunter is retired.

For now.

Sudala Fandy, kepala da nak botak tu gi cepat carik duit pastu kawin.

I know...i know...