Something new...everyday.

Guess what? Another site has been banned. Flixster is down so i cannot indulge an acquaintance in a friendly game of movie trivia. Which makes the World Wide Web in the UAE so much more interesting now cos i seem to engage myself in some form of online tikam-tikam game whenever i try to log on to a site.

"Why is it taking so long?", "How come it's redirecting?", "Wait a minute, oh shit, could it be...DUM DUM DUM...blocked?", "Nah...it shouldn't be. I don't think there's any form of por....it's blocked."

Talking about websites taking ages to upload, i just read a local mag whilst shitting the other day and read an interesting article about ISP subscription charges. I found out that people here pay about SGD$100 for the ridiculously blinding speed of 1Mbps.

My cool can of lemon barley became beer by the time i get to watch videos on youtube.

They say it's something to do with the number of internet users over here. It more or less makes sense cos until there is a demand, there's nothing else u can do but read a book (or probably finish it) while waiting for that bloody picture to appear.

I just heard from Niza, again, whilst shitting, that a friend of hers is applying for Emirates and has passed thru all her interviews. It seems things haven't gone so well for her back in SG so we're kinda glad she made that decision to start afresh. Kudos to her for making that brave new step.

So, amcm posa? Gerek? Haus? Over here the temperature outside can go up to 40++ degrees but in this apartment it's at a shit-cold constant of -10 degrees (i think) so Niza and I spend the day curled up under the duvet. Nothing like waking up and rushing to the kitchen to cook for buka. Ni la time aku rindu Mummy. What i would give to have her bening udang. Or even her asam pedas that's neither masam nor pedas. So it's lauk merah-merah with ikan.

But kita tido the whole day cos ader reason tau. Pasal malam lepas buka kiter karaoke lagu raya ngan lagu rock lama-lama sampai lepas sahor. Behtu bual konz sampai kol 10. Sanggop beli mic baru yg murah dan tak berguna pasal suara emas kita asek tak kuar. Rupanyer blom setup karaoke peh function.

First time aku "posa" tapi malam melalak lagu Bunga Larangan sampai, as how Amir would say it, tarik suara sampai urat kentot putos. Tapi lagu tu tak fair. Jantan skarang mana bleh buat suara gitu? Kalau Isa bleh la. Dier special. Dier takder b*pleh.

So aku step Fandy Ariwatan. Niza plak pandai rap Angguk2 Geleng2 ngan Khalifah. Memang lagu tu irritating tapi dis is Dubai, so u learn to make the best out of everything. And lagu My Heart telah dimainkan kira-kira tidak terkira kerana smuer orang nak nyanyi lagu tu. Tapi biler time nyanyi taktau. Takper, yakin mau ada. Ader plak sungguh2 nyanyi dengan rupa yg penuh menghayati isi dan inti puisi lagu namun suaranya macam blender yg mengejot kamu dari lena.

Akhir skali, aku sempat abes baca buku Air Babylon. And i am proud to say 99% of it was read while i was shitting.

So, tuan tuan dan puan puan, hingga kiter bertemu lagi di waktu dan saluran yg sama, selamat menyambut bulan Ramadan yg mulia ini dan ingat, setiap kali anda membuang air besar, lakukanlah aktiviti-aktiviti yg produktif seperti berbual atau membaca.